Life is bigger...

So, it is past midnight on a Saturday night.

Was I out late with my boy? No. (I wish. He is out of town.)
Was I pondering existence existentially whilst reading Edgar Allen Poe? No.
Was I with a group of girls laughing at life and playing poker? Yes.

Tonight was my small group's (otherwise lovingly known as Rahab Rehab) annual Poker Night. Did we play that much poker? Not really, but we did talk about Jesus, about my students, and about existence. Why, yes, yes we did! It was pretty much great.

But it got me thinking. All five of the girls (including myself) who were there are in "transition periods" of our life. That is to say, one women has one more year of undergrad, two are in graduate school and have little time left, one has moved to Dallas for med school, and me? I am working as a teacher for another year or two before I go onto grad school/med school myself. In the next four years, we will all have moved. Now, I like to think we will all move to the same town, nay the same neighborhood, nay the same street. But in reality, we will probably all be in different states. Possibly different countries!

At first this makes me very sad. My life without these women is like thinking about not having air or Diet Coke. Just not possible. Leaving? Them? NEVER!

Then, in this first bit, I get bitter. They are going to leave me? Well, fine. I won't share my heart. I won't invest in them. Ha. See, then when they leave, my heart is guarded. Then it won't hurt.

Of course, then I realize that I have already shared my heart with them. And I get angry that I did such a stupid thing before I realize the second thing.

Secondly, I am so grateful for the time I have. Even if I were to move away tomorrow, I would not trade the time I have had for the world. The pain of future loss is nothing compared to the enjoyment of the present. As sad as it will be when we all move away, the truth and power of living in community trumps the hurt of that same community changing.

And besides, we all decided that once a year we would all get together for a good ol' Rahab Rehab Reunion.

That is community and the Gospel in a nutshell. God calls to a life of misery. A life filled with heart refining and life challenges. We are called to love and let our hearts be little open targets for others to hurt us (in wisdom, of course). But, that is good. In fact, that is great! That life, an out of control roller coaster of emotion, is exactly what God calls us to rejoice in.

So, rejoice. And again I say rejoice.