On Existence

Lt. Cmdr. Data: [of the "hole" in space] Sir, our sensors are showing this to be the absence of everything. It is a void without matter or energy of any kind.
Commander William T. Riker: Yet this hole has a form, Data; it has height, width...
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Perhaps. Perhaps not, sir.
Capt. Picard: That's hardly a scientific observation, Commander.
Lt. Cmdr. Data: Captain, the most elementary and valuable statement in science, the beginning of wisdom, is, "I do not know". I do not know what that is, sir.

Ah, Star Trek, bounty of wisdom and depth!

I am only being slightly sarcastic.

Hello, sports fans! Today's rambling is on existence, i.e. what it is and why it exists. Whoa, you can't talk about existing without talking about metaexisting, which is weird cause you can't talk about meta existing without talking about meta-meta-existing, which...

Yessiree, just like poor Data could not figure out what the void in space was, we can never really understand existing because we cannot get to a place of nonexisting. The terms we use to define existing have to do with existing, which is circular. Just as it is nigh impossible to define man without defining woman, it is hard to define existing without defining nonexisting.

Well, of course, you can argue that existence is subjective. For instance, existence for me right now is sitting in a house typing on a computer. There is a level of cognition going on in my brain that is proceeding to exude these words, but what is that cognition made of? We can go reductionist and say it is just a random spurt of chemical neurotransmitters and means nothing. People tend to reject this view as too simplistic. We are MORE than just chemicals, they cry beating their breasts for emphasis. The reductionists laugh and say that the criers are just too weak to admit their existence is nothing but chemicals and then leave to live cynical lives in cynical places. The other side of the camp indicates that there is a psychological smorgasbord of stuff going on. For instance, this post directly relates to how I am feeling about my life. If I was not in such a good mood, maybe I would have written "On Death" or "On the Futility of Existence," but because I grew up where I did, ate what I ate for breakfast, etc., etc., I am writing this post.

Either way, I don't like it. I still do not know what existence is only that I do in fact exist.

Or do I? Maybe I am just a figment of your imagination? Maybe this is all a dream and I am just a projection of your subconscious? MAYBE WE ARE IN THE MATRIX AND I AM AN AGENT?

I think I watch too much television.

Anywho, I was just pondering existence today and am wondering what you think about existence. Do you like existing? It is all speculative mumbo jumbo that means very little, but it is a fun foray into the hypothetical, which is my favorite vacation spot, as it were.

But, on my personal existence, I have very few complaints at the moment. My sister was recently married and the wedding itself was supremely eventful in a good way. I have a job that I love doing. I have good friends who laugh and cry with me. I have access to a host of fun things like calligraphy pens, banjos, and knitting needles. I am dating a guy who, I think, is the bee's knees. I have a Yoda Photomosaic over my head at this very moment. My joints are doing great and I am training for a half marathon! Sure, life could be better. But it is great. Reading old blog post (like this one), I remember when I despaired existence.

Is my perception of existence based on circumstance? Truthfully, yes. But I am working on it. Or should I say God is working on me? I look forward to the day when, despite circumstances' ups and downs, I will rejoice in existing.

But until then, to angst-ridden and joy-filled blogs!