Dear Bloggers,
It's been a long time since we talked. No, no, I am not mad. Have been caring for another blog? No! It's nothing like that it's...well, it's complicated. You see, I've been...busy sorting out life stuff, but I am back and, beloved reader, if you'll have me, I would love for you to read my blog again. I promise to do better. I am going to blog once a week from now on even if it is short and poorly written*. Indeed, Quack Attack is Back Jack! (At first, I wrote, "Duck Attack is Back Jack" and that didn't seem right).
Anyway, have some great blog ideas just waiting to be written in my usual fashion. If you are new to this blog, the basic premise is this: I sit at my computer and rant for a bit and then I click publish and boom! The magic happens. No edits. No cuts. Just straight free-associating going on. The only thing I will sometimes do is read a blog and realize that all of you will become dumber for having read it and so I delete it.
FAQ if I had enough people reading this to have an FAQ
Why should I read this blog? You shouldn't. Stop. Go away.
Really, why should one read this blog? I don't know. Maybe cause once in every fifteen hundred blogs I say something profound and you don't want to miss it? I like sharing the way my brain works and if that happens to be the way your brain works, it is comforting to know that there are other crazy people out there. Also, if you know me and don't want to talk to me on the phone, this is a good way to keep up with me. (Like anyone could keep up with me anyway, she says as she flips her scarf over her shoulder, puts on her sunglasses, and strolls out the internet cafe with an air of accomplishment and triumph) ((I wish I could a. look as cool as the person I just described, b. put on sunglasses without first taking off my glasses, and c. stroll in any form or fashion without looking like a partially mauled dear)).
What have you been up to? Teaching.
Anything else? Mostly Teaching or Sleeping cause Teaching is the Most Tiring Profession in the World Ever.
What about manual labor jobs? Or jobs where you work 20 hours a day? I am being hyperbolic and weak. I am 23 and an American. Judge me, but do not throw rocks. OUCH! I said...never mind...stupid readers...
There's gotta be something else? Okay, okay, there is a boy.
See! Ha! You do have something! Look, he lives far away and I don't see him often. But, when I do see him, every five months or so, it's so awesome.
Is he imaginary? No. Yes. I mean, no! Just kidding. I am not kidding.
Are you in therapy? Yes.
Good. *Awkward Pause*
So...what prompted you back to writing this blog? My mother mentioned that her friends who read the blog were commenting to her that I haven't written in a while.
So you are doing this for your mom? Lame. Your mom is lame. Don't call my mom lame. She's great. And...and...I could say something about your mother, but I choose the honorable road and won't mention any of her anal tendencies!
Very defensive, I see. How does that make you feel? Shut up. I don't have to unpack my feelings for you...You are not my real therapist! I am going to my room. I hate you! I HATE YOU!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*End of FAQ*
So, folks, welcome back to me welcoming you back. I missed this. I missed you. I missed thinking how awesome other people thinking what I write is awesome is.
And with that adieu!
*--Unless I am killed by either the tornado, earthquake, flood, or any combination of natural disasters therein that are currently hitting my marvelous state of Oklahoma.
3 comments:
Ha ha! Becky, you're hilarious. I loved reading this and I'm glad you're back to blogging!:)
I'll say that I read because the title is so fitting- these are indeed ramblings and you are indeed insane. And I love you for it. This post had me LOLing all over the place. And I do NOT just throw those letters around flippantly. I literally LOLed. :)
Oh, you partially mauled dear, you.
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